• What to do if you can’t seem to lose fat.

    Have you tried to lose weight but can't seem to succeed no matter how hard you try?

    Do you feel like you’ve “tried everything” but you can’t lose weight? Do you wonder if you are cursed? Do you feel like no matter how hard you exercise and eat right you just stay the same- or worse yet, you are GAINING WEIGHT?

    You aren’t alone. And I can relate to your feelings more than you know. Read on to learn how to REALLY start making headway on your fitness goals, even if you feel stuck AF. 

    That’s funny. Stuck AF. It rhymes. 😉

    Things to consider when you aren't losing weight.

    • Hormones. Once you are past the age of 25, you need to get comprehensive bloodwork done. Period. And you need to get it done regularly. And you must see a qualified doctor who practices integrative medicine ideally– who can translate your results for you. Hormones affect EVERYTHING. Good thing is- hormonal balance is achievable– although it does take time. Trust me on this. I’ll have a LOT of posts coming up on this here in the near future so be sure you are subscribed my friends. 
    • Stress. This is tied to hormones as well- because stress affects cortisol which affects fat storage– but the more stressed out you are, the harder it will be to lose fat. 
    • Sleep. If you are not sleeping, your body will revolt against you. You need sleep and good quality sleep. 
    • Exercise and Diet. DUH!! But- not too much and not too little. Overtraining and Undereating are a recipe for disaster just like overeating and under-exercising. You gotta find that happy place in between. Hard to do in this fad diet focused country we live in….I know! 
    •  All of these topics above I will cover here in more depth — each in its own blog post and I’ll also point you to several podcasts I recorded with experts on these topics. So stay tuned for that. 

    The Other Biggest Factor In You Not Losing FAT Is- YOU.

    Ok so here is the biggest downer part of this post but for so many of you- (and this includes ME too) ladies, this is one of the biggest factors preventing you from losing fat. 

    It’s you. Yes, it’s YOU. If you are like me, you get to this point where you can see how far you’ve come but you also see what STILL ISN’T CONQUERED. You see that belly fat shaking its fist at you daring you to try to get rid of it. You see that while you feel good in a lot of your clothes, you still have a lot of jeans and dresses and shorts in your closet that are too tight. 

    Been here? More than once? I hear you. I have been too. I’m so tired of looking back and analyzing the good months of this year or that year and trying to figure out what was I doing then that was working vs. now…..and the thing is….I spend and have spent a lot of time looking back instead of looking HERE. Looking at myself right now. This week, this month. Right now. What am I doing or not doing and how long have I been not doing it?

    Ladies, if you can be real with yourself, even though you’ve probably said out loud – to yourself or to others – “I’ve tried EVERYTHING!! NOTHING WORKS!! I MUST JUST BE CURSED TO BE OVERWEIGHT!”– you are wrong. None of us are cursed. All of us have the potential to fix our health issues, including losing fat. 

    While all of the above topics I shared in the bullet points earlier in this post are a factor in our ability to lose fat and get lean….we are still more often self-sabotaging our efforts more than we realize. 

    If you are like me, you get to a certain place where you’ve lost fat/weight and you are feeling GOOD– you love that you can wear clothes you couldn’t a while back and it’s like this huge sigh of relief…so…you get comfortable. You get a little too comfortable and a little too cocky– unintentionally, mind you. No one says to themselves “I just made some great progress I’m going to get lazy and sabotage my efforts so I stay stuck in this plateau and frustrated AF all the time”.

    NO ONE says that. 

    But here is the hard truth that I think a LOT of us forget. Because it isn’t talked about a lot. Getting fit and staying in your best shape possible is NOT easy– especially after the age of 25 or so. There are lifestyle and hormonal things working against you. Getting fit and staying fit are WORK. Like- a solid amount of work and effort and focus and staying on point. For a whole lot of us we have to be super diligent. Unless you are a superstar athlete who trains so hard you have to eat like a billion calories just to not lose weight (dreamy right?) — you and I have to WATCH WHAT WE EAT– what we eat and how much we eat. And it’s highly likely if we are tracking our foods, we can easily OVEREAT — and eat too many carbs and not enough protein- or, not eat enough in the midst of a schedule where we are working out regularly– not eating enough is just as bad for fat loss as eating too much crap food. It’s very very true. 

    The Juice Is Worth The Squeeze.

    Ladies, we each have to decide what is most important to us. And if you are like me, and being in your most optimal health is beyond appealing to you, then you have to embrace the notion that it requires WORK and attention to detail – a lot of it. I’m realizing with utter clarity that I have been my biggest obstacle. I get too comfortable too soon and then I think I’m eating on point but I’m really not- I’m eating 90% what most would say are healthy foods: salads, organic/grass fed meats, healthy fats, fruits and vegetables, protein shakes etc. – are you reading this and thinking I’m crazy– how could I not be at 20% body fat or 15% body fat eating that kind of food every day? 

    People- you can gain weight or prevent weight/fat loss by eating all healthy foods. Too many calories are too many calories. When your intake is too many carbs and not enough proteins/fats, you are spiking insulin and encouraging fat storage. 

    I have been far too laxe in my efforts. I don’t have a body that allows me to just wing it. I’ve gotten in great shape- after GAINING weight last year following some poor nutrition advice and not trusting my gut (that’s another blog post coming up too y’all…..big lesson there)- but to be real, I am easily still 10-15lbs over my ideal weight. Easily. And I am just kind of STAYING HERE. 

    And I realized this past week how laxe I had been about tracking food– and how I have not been good about protein and then I’ve been allowing myself alcohol on the weekends with my man. THIS all adds up to my body staying put. 

    I’m SO DAMN TIRED of not being to react to a “Hey honey let’s go to Miami next month” suggestion with a “hell yea let me go buy a new hot bikini” (and instead immediately panic and think about what fad diet I can hop on to lose 10lbs because I feel mushy). I’m tired of always being CLOSE to fit. I’m tired of always striving and wanting to be my best self, physically- and yet I have never really gotten there where I am comfortable and confident in my own skin. 

    All of this– the fact that I’ve not been nearly focused and diligent enough on my health goals and that I’ve done this for YEARS– putting myself last, self-sabotaging for whatever reason and then feeling hideous about how I look inside…..all of this hit me like a ton of bricks recently. I realized life is too short, here I am in love with the absolute love of my life and looking forward to traveling the world together– and yet, I’ve held myself back from running the last 5 miles of the marathon, figuratively speaking. 

    That’s how my fitness journey feels- as if I have signed up for many marathons but in all of them I stopped at mile 20 then trained for another one then stopped at mile 21 then started all over….

    I’m ready to get to mile 26.2. I’m ready to HIT THE TARGET instead of always talking about it as if it’s not achievable. It IS.  I am capable, I have to just get out of my own way. 

    Ladies, the devil is in the details. If you really want to get in the best shape ever you have to give it your ALL. You gotta track your meals and your macros and honor your committments to yourself EVERY DAY. You have to figure out what YOU need to do –whether it’s limiting alcohol to the weekends or one night or adding in more workouts or some HIIT cardio or tracking your food in a notebook or MyFitnessPal. Do the extra work, the extra steps. 

    What is the better feeling: going in to your closet and being able to pick out anything? Or feeling like you want to crumble and cry because you still can’t fit in your jeans? It sucks to feel shitty about your body. It SUCKS. It feels sooooo awesome to feel great about how you look- why do we allow ourselves to focus on the wrong things? 

    Sure, cake is yummy and donuts are divine but I’m willing to forgo many MOMENTS of taste pleasure for a lifetime of feeling free and confident and awesome about myself. 

    I hope this wake up call helped you as it’s helped me. I’m in this to win it now. No more months of almost there. No more years of “well crap I’m still not at my goals”. I’m moving on UP!.



    How Weight Training Workouts For Women Over 40 Are The Answer to YOUR Best Body EVER!

    Cathe Friedrich

    If you are searching for weight training workouts for women, look no further. This podcast interview with Cathe Friedrich will satisfy your need for information and more. Cathe has created hundreds of advanced digital weight training workouts for women and is a legend in the fitness space. In this interview she explains why weight training workouts for women are so important and how they transform your body. We talk about how weight training workouts balance out a cardio regimen and help with aging. Once you learn how important weight training workouts for women are, you’ll want to head on over to Cathe’s website ( and either sign up for her streaming plan or purchase some DVDS. I’ve been working out to her advanced and intermediate weight training workouts for women for 2 decades now and am addicted. I think she is the best in the business.

    Cathe Friedrich is a recognized name in the world of workout videos. She has been at the top of this business for over 30 years and has at least 200 DVDs under her belt. She’s known to create the type of workouts even veterans in the field would find advanced but the results are always uncanny. She has legions of followers all over social media especially on YouTube where she makes use of live workout streams so even her audience across the globe can workout with her and the team.
    Cathe shares with us her humble beginnings, how she ended up building a career on dance workouts, valuable advice to women when it comes to weight lifting, and some really good tips for moms who want to become fit again or for the very first time. I personally discovered Cathe’s workouts on Collage Video probably 20 years ago!! After I started working out- I did cardio only (Taebo) then moved up to The Firm workouts and then discovered Cathe and became obsessed! She is the BOMB!!! 
    “The body, once it starts really showing signs of improvement, it needs recovery just as much it needs a push to workout.” Cathe Friedrich
     In this episode, you’ll learn:
    Cathe wouldn’t be here if she didn’t pursue passion over her college degree.
    Cathe’s workouts conform and adapt to the times to make sure everyone gets access to her videos.
    Women shouldn’t be afraid to lift weights. They’re not as genetically capable of bulking as men and even men have a difficult time putting on muscle.
    True fitness is achieved by doing more than cardio. You have to challenge your muscles with weight.
    Weight training allows you to build lean muscle tissue that protects you from the likes of osteoporosis and other bone diseases while also improving overall quality of life.
    When it comes to training, more is definitely not better. Rest makes up a huge part of the training process. Too much will make your body go against you. You’ll end up breaking your body and you’ll hate exercise.

    It’s when you recover that your body gets trimmer, leaner, and stronger.
    Even busy moms can find a time for fitness. Cathe says even 5 minutes is more than enough if you know what to do.
    Key Takeaways:
    Small accomplishments are better than no accomplishments at all. That 5-minute workout you’ll do is still 5 minutes more than just sitting around. Let them add up and you’ll be more accountable towards small goals than looking at the big picture that looks intimidating.
    Cardio alone will just make you become a smaller version of yourself. Aesthetic changes require weight training.
    Make sure you work hard and recover harder.
    Connect with Cathe Friedrich:
    Cathe Friedrich
    Youtube Channel
    Mentioned in this episode:
    Collage Video Fitness

    But Wait, There’s MORE!


    If you liked this episode and topic, it’s highly likely you’ll want to check out these posts below. First of all, What Are the Best Home Workout Programs and the Best Home Gym Equipment. CLICK HERE to read. Secondly, Why I’m Using a Waist Trainer During My Workouts (HINT: It’s Not Why You Think) CLICK HERE to read. Finally, A KILLER CARDIO AND STRENGTH WORKOUT YOU CAN DO AT HOME. Click here to read.

    About Cathe Friedrich

    From her online bio:
    Before there was Zumba, Tae Bo, Spinning or even Step Aerobics, fitness video pioneer Cathe Friedrich recognized the need to provide a simple, flexible, affordable and motivating way for Americans to exercise and stay fit. Nearly thirty years and over 300 DVDs later, thousands of people have credited Cathe Friedrich for helping them to transform their bodies and their lives with her videos and TV appearances.
    Like going through life with a friend, Cathe’s followers have grown in their workouts as she has learned and expanded her video offerings, staying focused on Cathe’s three guiding principles: Professionalism, Passion, and Quality.
    Cathe is often credited with being the first to bring advanced fitness videos to the home exerciser and helped shatter the theory that only celebrities could star in fitness videos. As a certified Group Fitness Instructor, Cathe has taught thousands of classes at her New Jersey health club and has helped to train many of today’s top instructors.
    As a leading innovator in the home exercise video industry, in 1988 she founded Step N Motion Videos and in 1989, created one of the first ‘step’ aerobic videos. Cathe continues to produce fun, intense, and challenging workouts for all body types and fitness levels. Her award-winning workouts have been featured in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Dallas News, Fox Business News, QVC and the Philadelphia Inquirer. Health and fitness writers have published articles about her in Shape, Oxygen, Self, Health, Fit, Consumer Digest and Fitness magazines.
    Cathe continues to stay cutting edge through her Cathe Live streaming channel, OnDemand offerings, and mobile fitness apps. Cathe prides herself on staying true to three guiding principles: professionalism, passion, and quality. Her dedication to her craft and to the fitness industry led to her induction into the Fitness Hall of Fame in 2011.
    While appearing on Fox Business News, Cathe told her story of how she got started. When she was 16, she took an aerobics class. Three weeks later, was asked to teach it and she was “hooked.” A few years later, Cathe was teaching a creative movement class at a fitness studio on the top floor of Carnegie Hall, where she used fourteen-inch benches as part of her workout. At the same time, Step Reebok was launching what is now known as “Step Aerobics” to the world. Cathe incorporated step into her philosophy, creating her first video, “Step N Motion One,” which was also one of the first and most influential step aerobic videos of its time. Today, her fitness empire includes all types of workouts and is one of the largest privately owned fitness video libraries in the world.

    Always on the cutting edge, Cathe recognized the power of the internet and was the first to sell fitness videos online nearly 20 years ago. Today, is one of the largest and most visited fitness websites and Cathe’s pioneering work in this area has inspired other instructors to market and promote their own fitness videos in a similar fashion. Today, she continues to be a trendsetter with her DVDs, Ripped with HiiT, XTrain, STS Fitness Program, digital downloads, iPhone apps, and fitness tracking software.
    Collage Video, a source for exercise videos since 1987, says this about Cathe on their web site: “Since the early 1990s, Cathe Friedrich’s videos have set the standard for ‘challenging workouts’. Cathe Friedrich’s workout video technique is excellent; her cuing style is very direct. These exercise videos will challenge even the elite athlete!” The Dallas Morning News wrote: “To say that Cathe Friedrich workout videos are tough is like saying Everest slopes upward.” Fit TV declared: ” Cathe is one the most popular trainers on our network. She is a power-intense cardio-buster, a punch and crunch trainer.”
    To bring her workouts and her message of healthy living directly to her fans, known as “Cathletes”, Cathe offers national road trips which give her a unique opportunity to meet many of her loyal followers in person (something Cathe really loves to do.) She also keeps in touch with her fans by embracing new technology, frequently updating her web page, blogging, Tweeting, posting on Facebook and continually answering questions in her forums.
    Since 1986, Cathe has been certified through the American Council on Exercise (ACE). Additional specialty fitness certifications include Indoor Cycling, Body Pump, Body Flow, Kickboxing, Boxing, Silver Sneakers, Prenatal Fitness, Resist-A-Ball, Yoga Fit, Barre, Zumba and more.
    Cathe is the mother of two boys, Eric and Kyle.

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  • The 5 Biggest Fitness Mistakes I’ve Made, and How I’ve Fixed Them For the Better.

    What NOT to do if you want to get fit.

    I have been blogging and vlogging and talking about my fitness journey online since 2007. And in the past 12 years, I’ve learned a lot. 

    I’ve learned a lot about what NOT to do that’s for sure. 

    The truth is, what has become very clear to me recently is that– my massive insecurity about my looks and my body, combined with my incredibly impatient nature, drove me to push way too hard in all areas, with the desire to get fit FASTER. 

    News Flash: that never happened. What did happen was that I became run down, my workouts suffered, I lost my energy and often my motivation, my inner self-talk went from negative to destructive and my eating practices became obsessive. 

    It took me doing a lot of introspection to figure this stuff out and I encourage all of you if you can, to get a therapist you can talk to to figure out your inner BAGGAGE that is likely holding you down. If you aren’t ready for that step, start with some personal development/self-help books– they’ve done wonders for me. (HINT: I’ll be sharing a post next week with some of my favorites for you)– and if you are that person who hears the words “personal development” or “self-help” and rolls your eyes with skepticism (I did back in the day)– guess what? You probably need it far more than you think.

    Whatever you are most resistant to is likely what you need to pay attention to most in your life. 

    Example: Are you always worried about money? Freaking out about paying your bills or wondering how you can earn more? You have money issues you need to get to the bottom of– quite often we have these hangups inside of us that affect our behaviors– until you identify them and recognize them when they appear, you can’t change them. 

    So, when I was finally able to be real with myself, that’s when I could identify all my bad behavioral patterns or thought processes that were becoming huge obstacles for me in my fitness journey. Because what I realized was this: for all my years of working out and dieting– I never once reached my ultimate goal. Never ONCE. I’ve made progress then backslid, then made progress then backslid. It has been a PATTERN of two steps forward then 2 and a half back etc. I’ve LINGERED in the land of “almost there” for so long it’s just sad. 

    But I am the obstacle. It’s MY behaviors and MY habits that I’ve allowed to remain– I’m still working on figuring out why– why have I self-sabotaged, why have I held myself back? Why do I give 80% and not 100%? Why do I make exceptions? This is the hard part, ladies, the inner work. But it’s the work that matters the most– because I guarantee you this- we ALL KNOW the foundational principles of getting fit. We all know what food is the best choice and what is bad for us. We all know we should work out vs. watching TV or sleeping in every morning. We all KNOW what we SHOULD do to get fit. So the things that propel us toward making bad decisions- that’s the meaty stuff we have to figure out on our own. You can read all the diet books and troll as many fitfam instagram accounts as you want – if you don’t get YOUR MIND right, it won’t matter.


    So– as promised then, let me share with you what my biggest MISTAKES have been– the things I’ve cut out of my life now. Then I’ll share what I’ve added IN to my fitness life – and I’ll share how it’s making a difference. 



    My Top 5 Biggest Fitness Mistakes.

    1. Setting Unrealistic Expectations: I cannot tell you how many times I would start some DIET or “challenge” program that promised crazy weight loss in x weeks– and even if that was already unrealistic I would make the diet and workouts even more extreme to hurry the process UP! Signing up for any challenge that promises you and anyone else in the world the same results in one or two months– is not realistic in any way. Once you are past the age of 30- you have hormonal issues and stress issues to consider– and each of our unique DNA history will have an effect on our inevitable outcome.
    2. Working toward completely unrealistic goals: Ladies. I am as curvy as a Kardashian. (Well maybe not as butt-tastic as they are but this girl has boobs and butt and always has) and all of my life I have aimed to look like Jennifer Garner in Alias. That is NEVER going to happen. We have completely different body types and yet, I have measured my success by comparing myself to her physique. 
    3. Thinking that MORE is better. I am so impatient. I want overnight results. And as such, I would take every diet I attempted to participate in and ENHANCE IT. By doing MORE: more restricting, more working out, more of every extreme measure I could. HINT: It never worked. 
    4. Beating myself up. I cannot tell you how much of my adult life has been spent beating myself up emotionally. I mean, picking myself apart for my looks from head to toe. The conversations going on in my head – if you heard how I talked to myself you would be MORTIFIED. I realize now how damaging this has been and it’s a work in progress to fix.
    5. Aiming for perfection or nothing. I obsessed over every detail for years. I thought I had to be so rigid and compliant with whatever program or diet or challenge I was on that if I slipped with 10 calories, I’d end up bingeing and starting over. To me it was all or nothing. If you messed up one day, the whole week was ruined. STUPID.
    Ladies, these are the biggest mistakes I’ve made and the areas I’ve made the most significant change in recently. And the changes are making a difference in every way. You may also want to read this post I published on FitFluential for more tips; CLICK HERE.


    The 5 Best Changes I've Made In My Fitness Journey That Are Paying OFF For the Better.

    So, what have I done to be “out with the old and in with the new”? Well, the truth is, I absolutely DO focus on that– call it the George Costanza Opposite Approach (if you don’t get my Seinfeld reference shame on you). In other words, I recognize that what I practiced in the past, did NOT work, so it makes sense for me to do the opposite or close to it. Read on for my top 5 new best practices:

    1. I accept myself as I am. I no longer am striving to look like Jennifer Garner or Ashley Horner, but to become the best, strongest, leanest, healthiest version of ME that I can. 
    2. I cut out the negative self-talk and replace it with self-respect and self-love and ENCOURAGEMENT. I absolutely still catch myself when I see a glimpse of my bad areas- I catch myself slipping into self-loathing but I am now able to stop it for I KNOW HOW DAMAGING IT IS. I move right into telling myself how far I’ve come and how “You’ve so got this Olexa!!” I really do. It works.
    3. I stopped the obsessing. I no longer obsess about mistakes. I don’t freak out if I hit 120g of carbs on a day that my goal might be 90g of carbs. I don’t FREAK out that the day I had to skip my workout because I was sick is going to ruin everything. I CHILL OUT and am learning to enjoy the process.
    4. My goals are LONG-TERM without deadlines. I’ll get there when I get there.
    5. I am LIVING MY LIFE along the way. Before, I thought I could not go to the gym until I was at 20% body fat. I could not go on vacation until I was perfect. I didn’t want to buy a size 10 jeans. I only wanted to wear size 6 so I would never go out until I was perfect. I’ve learned to LIVE my life and buy awesome clothes for my amazing healthy body RIGHT NOW and keep working toward a better version of me every day. But life is for the living!!

    Ladies, these changes above have made a huge difference. In my upcoming posts, you will read more detail on each point– from the mistakes list to the great additions list. Be sure you are subscribed so you don’t miss out. 

    What points hit home for you- the good ones or the bad ones? Let me know in the comments what you struggle with the most. 

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