Want to get fit, but lack MOTIVATION?
The Most Common Complaints About Motivation.
“I want to lose weight, and I know what to do, but I just can’t seem to get MOTIVATED!”.
“Kelly that’s great that YOU are seeing results, but you have that motivation thing going- it comes naturally to you! I’ve got {insert excuse here like 2 kids, a long commute, hormone problems, a bad marriage etc.} and it’s all I can do to not collapse at the end of the day!”
“Kelly, how do you find the motivation to keep working out when you aren’t seeing results?”
“I always start strong whenever I start a new diet or workout program but I give up and then I can’t seem to get motivated to do it again!”
The Real Truth About Motivation.
Do any or all of those statements sound familiar to you? These are reflective of the top questions or comments I hear EVERY WEEK. And the truth that I tell to all of the women who write into me with these types of comments is – what I’ll tell you right now- MOTIVATION isn’t something outside of you. It’s not a package, wrapped in tissue paper, sitting in a box on a shelf somewhere. It’s not something that was only gifted via DNA to the exclusive “uber-fit” people. It’s not something that comes natural to everyone. It’s not something that is guaranteed to be a perpetual thing. Read that again. Being motivated- when you are- is not by any means guaranteed to last. Motivation is at its true core- unique to each one of us. What MY STATE OF MOTIVATION looks and feels like to me may be totally different than what YOUR MOTIVATION state feels like in your skin. Further, what MOTIVATES ME is highly likely – totally different than what motivates YOU.
Think about this.
What DRIVES ME (motivates me) to do the work (diet + exercise) to get the result (fit body) is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FOR ME than it is for you and for everyone out there that knows me and reads this blog and follows me on social media. And what the STATE OF BEING MOTIVATED feels like for me — well that’s totally unique to ME and me alone. So, if motivation- both internally and externally — is so distinctive to each one of us- how can we look outside of ourselves for it??
Yet, we do. When we complain about not being motivated, we suggest that we are helpless creatures and that “rats I can’t work out today, I don’t have any motivation”- as if someone could run through a drive- through for us and deliver it.
Doesn’t work that way.
The only way to GET MOTIVATION is to create it. To generate it. And the only one who can do that is you. Stop looking to outside forces to motivate you. Stop thinking motivation is something you were born with. It’s a SKILL and you can cultivate it and perfect it. Trust me.But the first step is ACCEPTANCE. You must accept that motivation is your responsibility and frankly- it’s only YOU who has the ABILITY to make the MOTIVATION thing happen. It’s all on you. And if you read that and get discouraged, don’t be– the fact that it’s all on you means YOU ARE IN CONTROL. You want to grab the missing motivation in your life and never let go? I’m here to show you how it’s done.
Nothing Worth It Is Ever EASY To Achieve.
There are a couple of assumptions I want you to agree with me on before we move on to specifics. It’s important for you, after you accept that MOTIVATION is your job and your job alone– to accept some universal truths about, in this case, getting fit. You can apply all of these truths and principles after reading this blog to other pursuits like work or love but for today we are talking motivation in the fitness realm.
- Nothing worth it is ever EASY to achieve. Can we agree on this? Getting FIT and in a body that you have mad respect for isn’t easy. If it was, we wouldn’t have the obesity epidemic in this country. Our bodies are capable of amazing things but we have to WORK FOR IT. And I dare you to think about this: isn’t it more rewarding to work your ass off for something than to have it handed to you? I agree.
- The WORK to get where you want to be is sometimes NO picnic. This photo above reminds me of so many training sessions with my favorite trainer Blaine in Austin. Rowing. Burpees. Wall-Balls. DURING THE WORK, I hate it. But after the work, I love the feeling of doing the hard thing. Later on I love the results. Embrace the fact up front that the WORK you have to do isn’t always going to be fun but it will be worth it.
- The only way to fail is to quit. Because the only way to fail is to quit, then you know it is your top responsibility to keep your motivation working for you to KEEP GOING. That’s your goal. You are MOTIVATING YOURSELF TO NOT QUIT.
The Secret to Getting Motivated and STAYING MOTIVATED.
So we’ve accepted that motivation is our responsibility. We’ve opened our eyes to the work that is ahead of us and we know that the only way we fail is to quit. So– we know we have a hard road ahead of us– this is that MOMENT where the rub happens. Yup, this is the moment where the vast majority of people will allow intimidation and doubt to weasel their way into their brains and convince them that they don’t have what it takes to make this happen.
That’s so wrong.
We are ALL HUMAN- obvi, and we all doubt ourselves. It’s daunting to think about making big changes and attempting to achieve something that seems so far off from where we are. We think we need some magic skillset to do things that really aren’t that complicated. Rowing machine? Not complicated. Riding a bike? Running? going for a walk? Counting your calories? Sitting in the sauna? Doing some bicep curls? Nothing is that complicated. It’s just intimidating because- we haven’t made all these things WORK FOR US BEFORE.
So- recognize as you begin your journey that – these feelings that will urge you to quit right away– they are natural, and they are your inner fear and doubt talking.
RIGHT HERE, AT THIS MOMENT- THIS IS WHEN YOU NEED TO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT MOTIVATION. In my opinion, your MOTIVATION at the beginning of the journey is not some warm fuzzy exciting FEELING or a sense of ENERGY. No- in the beginning of your journey to get fit, you have motivation. Your motivation is your DESIRE to no longer stay where you are physically- and to transform. You’ve had enough. You are tired of being tired, you are done not fitting in your clothes, you are through feeling embarrassed naked. THIS- AT THE BEGINNING- IS YOUR MOTIVATION. I encourage you to write down all the aspects of this motivation, good and bad, in a journal/notebook and read it each morning when you wake up and each night before bed.
REMIND YOURSELF what you don’t want to be anymore- how awful it feels to not fit in your clothes anymore. REMIND YOURSELF of what you want- to be able to put on a bikini at the beach and feel GOOD about it.
The more you have that MOTIVATION– what you want and don’t want– in the front of your brain, every day, you’ll feel drawn toward the activity. The work. Yes, drawn to it.
NOTE: motivation doesn’t make you not feel tired. Motivation doesn’t make the workout easier. Motivation doesn’t make your day easier to fit in the workouts. Motivation is your GUIDE. That’s all. It’s your proverbial north star.
You are either led by your motivation– or you are led by your fear and doubt. Who do you want to follow?
When you let yourself be led by doubt and fear, you take the passive approach. When you are leading yourself by motivation, the motivation you create, you are the one in control. What sounds better?
Here’s the kicker my friends. Once you START down the right path, once you’ve listened to that MOTIVATION each day- of what you don’t want to be anymore and what you want to be- and you’ve let that lead you to do the work- because it will- when you remind yourself daily “I’m going to go do this hard thing and it’s gonna kick my butt, but I’m going to be so proud of myself for doing it and when I’ve been at this for 30 days I will look and feel so much better…..”– then you keep showing up. A beautiful thing happens. It will.
You will start to enjoy the process. You will start to enjoy the feelings of pride and accomplishment. You’ll start to see gains in strength and cardio capacity. You’ll start noticing your clothes fitting better. People will make comments about how you look.
GUESS WHAT HAPPENS THEN? Your motivation has just been bolted up 100 notches. Now, you have MORE motivation pushing you. More reasons that fire you up.
It builds and builds.
**Truth is– the later feelings of motivation when you start experiencing results? They are cooler. They feel more exciting. They are motivation squared. But, as long as your eyes are open and you realize up front that the rewards ARE THERE just down the road– it makes the beginning more palatable. You can do it. You can create and generate your own motivation.
***Another thing. I’d be lying if I said that this is a linear line of only going up up up up up. We ALL- all of us- even the most seasoned fitness trainers and dietitians- EVERYONE goes through a slump. Everyone ends up sick or benched for a time. Everyone encounters an injury or personal tragedy and gets off course. It happens. But then — you recognize that and start at MOTIVATION ZERO. (ground zero) Start at the beginning knowing that you’ve been there done that. You’ve got this.
It’s a beautiful cycle. And it works if you work it.
So tell me, how motivated are you now?
