Personal Blog

  • What to do if you’ve “TRIED EVERYTHING AND CAN’T LOSE WEIGHT”.

    Are you stuck in a perpetual weight loss plateau?

    Some of the most common phrases I hear women say are, “I feel like I’ve been dieting FOREVER! Nothing works!” or “I have been working out and eating healthy foods for years and no matter how hard I try the scale won’t budge!” or “All I do is eat clean and work out but no matter what, I’m stuck and can’t lose weight”…which leads to other statements like “I must just have a slow metabolism” or “Well I’ve heard that once your hormones change after age 30/age 40/age 50/having a kid/losing a job/being stressed/insert life circumstance here, it’s virtually impossible to lose weight.”


    Let me be clear before we move on — I have said many of the above statements. For many years, I blamed my hypothyroidism or my insulin resistance for not being able to lose weight. But very recently I learned that one of the key components to weight loss– one that I’d been ignoring for years– was caloric deficit. You’ve heard me talk about this a lot on the blog. You can learn a ton in about this for yourself in my interview with Jordan Syatt. As I began to focus heavily on caloric deficit first and foremost- and stopped worrying about all the other stupid fitness myths and rules about food out there– I saw my body respond. 

    I started losing weight after a long time of not being able to. 


    While that IS a very important point that may in and of itself be a gamechanger for you in your weight loss journey (just adding back in counting your calories religiously and focusing on that caloric deficit as defined for. YOUR body and YOUR goals)- – there is a more important practice that in my opinion is missing for pretty much every woman who uses those phrases I shared at the beginning of this post. 

    So what’s the missing link? Here’s the truth. Whenever I talk to a woman who is complaining with any of the previously mentioned phrases, I always find out the same thing. 

    They are winging it. Yup. Winging it in every way. 

    What do I mean by that? When I ask what they are doing to lose weight they’ll say “I eat healthy! I barely eat any carbs, I have maybe one drink a week and I work out every day!“. Now, you might read that and think — HELLO KELLY HOW IS THAT WINGING IT? Here’s the truth that many women don’t want to face. To lose weight after the age of, say 30– it’s going to require diligence and focus, and a PLAN that you TRACK along the way. It’s NOT ENOUGH to just “eat healthy”. Nope. It’s NOT ENOUGH to just add in working out every day (sounds harsh right? A lot of people think that if they just start working out they are set– and for sure, if you’ve never worked out and you suddenly add in 30 minutes of walking per day- you’ll lose some weight. But it’s not a sustainable plan for weight loss. Inevitably your body gets used to that activity and more importantly– if you aren’t controlling your FOOD intake, you can overcompensate for your workouts and potentially GAIN WEIGHT.

    Are you thinking I’m going to tell you that you have to add more work in- in addition to eating healthy and working out? Are you thinking holy cow I am already doing enough and now she wants me to do more??? 

    There is MORE to do but it’s not more restriction (necessarily) in your diet. There is MORE to do but it’s not hours more of working out. 

    The more is this. YOU NEED TO DO MORE PLANNING. You need to in some way – figure out your ultimate GOAL. (your goal weight or body fat percentage or clothing size etc.). Then, you need to REVERSE ENGINEER THE PLAN TO GET TO THAT GOAL. Lastly, you need to monitor your activity on the way- tweak as needed, and do the same thing until you reach your goal. 

    And if you DO THE ABOVE- you WILL reach your goal. If you keep being casual about your weight loss journey “I’ll JUST cut down on carbs” or “I’ll just start running again” or “I’ll just eat clean foods no packaged foods”– then you will get casual, random results. 

    If you want CRAZY AWESOME RESULTS- the kind where you feel amazing naked or in a bikini- that takes A PLAN. 

    I’ll use the story that’s been used time and again as an example– if you were invited to a friend’s house for dinner (pre-quarantine of course) and you had never been to their house– how would you get there? You’d probably pull up Google Maps or another Map app on your phone and it would tell you and your vehicle what to do along the way TO GET TO YOUR DESTINATION. Yet, why is it when we have a destination/goal we want to get to– we have no PLAN to get there? If we have no PLAN or way to measure progress – how do we know what is working and not working? 

    Here’s an example of what a PLAN is vs. winging it. If I am a female who weighs 150 pounds and my ideal weight is 125 pounds, I know I need to lose 25 pounds.  A plan: I know that it’s doable to lose 2lbs a week but that losing 1lb a week is more sustainable. And will require less of an intense diet. So I decide I’m going to aim for losing 1lb a week. And I should expect that if I stick with a diet, it will take me 25 weeks or approximately 5 months to reach my goal. So I should get a planner or a notebook to record my food and my workouts- personal preference if you want it all in one notebook or to use different things. I use a wall calendar to record my workouts and a notebook for my food. Now- there are myriad diet calculators we can use to figure out what should be our daily caloric intake for reasonable fat loss. I use Jordan Syatt’s model which has you take your goal weight and multiply that by 12 to get your caloric deficit baseline. Then what I’ve done (click here to listen to my DETAILED 3 part podcast on this topic) is taken that caloric deficit number and figured out by tweaking the numbers and incorporating calorie cycling and intermittent fasting/fast days– how to have my cake and eat it too. I have made my diet so that on Fridays I have a cheat day of 2500 calories– and every week I have alcohol and “cheat food”- I eat carbs and sweets but I just make sure I’m in my caloric deficit. I WRITE DOWN ALL MY FOOD- so even when I go out to eat and enjoy myself it’s all being accounted for. 

    Ladies, if you are just randomly choosing healthy foods and not tracking them and further- you don’t even KNOW what your caloric deficit number IS– and you think — because of all the fitness BS out there that you can “Just go keto” and not have to track calories or “just eat whole foods” and not have to track calories or ” just go Paleo” and not have to watch portions- you are woefully misinformed. If you don’t have your caloric deficit number defined, and you don’t have a PLAN to FOLLOW each week to get toward your goal– and you aren’t weighing and/or measuring yourself and/or taking the body fat measurements etc. — then you are WINGING IT. And — you can GAIN WEIGHT– eating all organic. You can GAIN WEIGHT eating paleo. You can GAIN WEIGHT eating tons of vegetables! NEWS FLASH; TO LOSE WEIGHT YOU GOTTA BE ON A PROGRAM. You gotta track it like it’s your money in a new hedge fund and you want to ensure there’s no hanky panky going on. 

    IF YOUR GOAL IS IMPORTANT TO YOU- understand these 2 most important things. CALORIC DEFICIT TRUMPS EVERYTHING ELSE when it comes to weight loss. And a PLAN based on your goal and using your CALORIC DEFICIT- is how you reach your goal. 

    So tell me — after reading this and thinking about what you’ve been doing the past few years– are you able to tell me if you’ve been in a caloric deficit for all the time you’ve been saying you’ve been trying to lose weight? Can you tell me how many workouts you actually did in January? 

    What gets scheduled gets done, they say. Well I say, what gets PLANNED OUT gets executed and accomplished. 

    So how bad do you want it? If you want it bad and need help, I would love to help you figure out your customized diet/caloric deficit plan that lets you have carbs and alcohol and sweets– while dieting and losing weight. I’m happy to make workout recommendations and you can join me in my next workout challenge group. Comment below or fill out the contact me form we’ll set up a time to talk and I’ll share what options I have. Make this the time you FINALLY make this work for you. I’m seeing amazing results after a month of really taking it up a notch– let’s roll together shall we?? P.S. Another thing that’s helped me in a big way is cutting out snacking- CHECK OUT THIS POST to listen in and hear what I mean. I think you’ll dig it. You’ll also like this post: CLICK HERE for how not to gain weight during quarantine and CLICK HERE for detail on what I’ve been doing to gain muscle and lose fat during quarantine.

    My Favorite Go-To Products to Help With Weight Loss.

    Weighing your food is a gamechanger. Don’t GUESS when it comes to your protein or things like cheese, avocado, salad dressing, nut butters etc. This Eat Smart Scale is my favorite– I even pack it when I travel. Want to start making a hujazz salad bowl for one of your meals- GREAT IDEA — I am obsessed with this container to keep lettuce fresh and not moldy. 

    Here is a great planner you can use to track your workouts and measurements and your eats. CLICK HERE to buy. 

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    Note: this blog contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this post and support this channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when a viewer uses the links provided, the view is in NO WAY obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support.


  • Why Women Need Balanced Hormones. My Journey With Bio-Identical Hormonal Replacement Treatment.

    Every woman needs to understand the importance of having hormonal balance. Sadly this is not something that your primary care doctor or your typical OB/GYN is going to discuss with you- the concept of hormonal imbalance and how to address it. More often, what happens is, a woman will start to experience health issues like weight gain, headaches, body temperature changes, skin conditions, mood swings, trouble sleeping and more. She’ll ask her doctor “what is wrong with my body?“- or “why can’t I seem to lose weight like I used to“- and “why am I suddenly having problems falling asleep or staying asleep” – or “why am I having acne problems when I’m 38?” and maybe “I’m embarrassed at my lack of sex drive, what’s wrong with me?” etc. etc. Unfortunately, what I hear time and again (and it’s what I experienced before I made the big step to see a specialist!!) is that a doctor will often tell a woman who complains about these things that “Well, you ARE {insert whatever age she is here} years old, this is just nature…..your time is past, enjoy the golden years of getting older!!” – or they’ll suggest “Why don’t you try going on a diet and exercising more?” or they’ll say “It sounds like you are just depressed about aging. You need to accept that this is part of life. Here let me prescribe you some {insert anti-depressant here}” OR- some OB/GYNs or Endocrinologists are known to prescribe ONLY PROGESTERONE for women- often without doing any bloodwork. So they are just applying a bandaid to a gash that really needs surgery.

    The bottom line is this. None of the above are appropriate answers- and most women don’t know that. They’ll accept whatever line is given to them by the OB/GYN or primary care doctor because- that’s what we are conditioned to do; trust doctors. I’m not suggesting doctors are untrustworthy, mind you- not at all. What I will tell you is that the majority of them are not trained in integrative medicine and they are trained in prescribing drugs. Lots of drugs. They aren’t trained to find the source of your symptoms and solve the whole issue- they are trained to give you a prescription to address the symptom. Often, the prescription won’t do anything but make matters worse.

    All of this sounds depressing right?

    Don’t be depressed. Be excited. GET HOPEFUL. Why? Because I am publishing this blog post as the introduction to a series I am doing on this topic because it is now in the top 3 topics of all time that I get asked about- and it’s the area there is the least amount of easily accessible information about online or in books. Women are in the dark and so are a whole lot of medical professionals. The more we can spread the word on what to do when your body starts to seemingly revolt against you- the more women we can help.

    Who needs hormonal balance help? Guess what? This is no longer just a thing for “older” women. Far from it. More young women- even in their twenties, are experiencing hormonal imbalance- it can be due to many causes and combinations of causes. You should take a listen to my podcast interview with Laurie Christine King (click here to do so) — she’s an example of a healthy, fitness fanatic young woman who figured out her hormones were jacked and started getting the right help- she’s been on BHRT (bio identical hormonal replacement treatment) for some time now and doing really well.

    How do you get started on this journey- and how do you know you need to? Consider this post an introduction, a trailer of the series I’ll be publishing on this topic. And I’ll be going deep dive into these topics on my new Patreon Channel– launching officially next week (subscribe now over there to become my early patrons– this is a private member only community!) So- if you are experiencing any of the following symptoms on an ongoing basis: Weight Gain, Lack of Libido, Headaches, Migraines, Mood Swings and Irritability, Skin Rashes/Hives/Breakouts/Acne, Body Temperature Changes, Night Sweats, Heavy Bleeding, Lack of periods, Lack of Energy, Inability to lose weight, Insomnia, etc. — it’s likely you have some jacked hormones. If you have been on The Pill or any hormone altering birth control- your hormones are likely in trouble. If you’ve been a yo-yo dieter, overtrainer, experienced a high stress life, have been on a lot of antibiotics, have consumed a lot of packaged food– yup- those all contribute to hormone issues and poor health (duh).

    So, if you have experienced the above- and you are not getting anywhere with your current doc, it’s time to step up and as my business coach says “start driving the bus in your life, stop letting others drive your bus”. It’s time to become your own health advocate. It’s time to embrace the idea of learning and learning and learning because I will warn you and at the same time entice you: WARNING: hormones are COMPLICATED. There is no one solution for all women. It takes a lot of tweaking. It does not happen overnight at all. But it IS doable and when you start fixing your hormones, YOU WILL FEEL LIKE A NEW PERSON. You will be amazed at how much you look forward to LIVING again!! Trust me. Before I started getting bloodwork and started bio-identical hormonal replacement treatment I had most of the above symptoms. Now I am 51– 5 years later- and look and feel better than I did 20 years ago. I embrace my age and aging. I look forward to the decades to come. I’m not exaggerating.

    This is 51.

    Ladies, in my next post (live in 2 days) I’ll go into the first step of your journey– how to get started where you are- with your current doc or OB/GYN — what questions to ask, what to expect, what to request, and how to move forward if they don’t comply with what you need. We’ll talk about bloodwork- the right kind- because most docs won’t order the right ones – and then how to connect with the best integrative medicine practitioner who can help you.

    Until then- TELL ME WHAT QUESTIONS YOU HAVE. Leave a comment or fill out the contact me form. I’m here to help you in this series on balancing your hormones to get your body BACK and get your sex life thriving and get your sleep vibes in a happy place and more. Tell me about your symptoms, your experience, your confusion, ANYTHING. I’ll make sure I address it.

    In the meantime, I have a ton of episodes already on the podcast about hormones and cortisol– with my Austin doctor Dr. Lane Sebring, plus Dr. Anna Cabeca and others.

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  • Why I’m Using a Waist Trainer During My Workouts.

    Are Waist Trainers A Gimmick, or a Useful Tool for Weight Loss?

    Our bodies change where we store fat as we age.

    If you are over 35 and trying to lose weight, you probably have found yourself complaining about how much harder it is to lose weight around your “middle”. Most women find that their bodies change after having a baby, or after their hormones start getting all jacked up (which obviously happens after a baby but can also happen with being on The Pill and/or being on a lot of antibiotics and/or being exposed to a lot of toxic ingredients- all true for me – minus having a kid) and suddenly the areas where they gain weight or store fat- change. It certainly happened to me. I used to – when I was younger – store fat on my upper thighs, my butt and my boobs. I always had a very flat stomach and small waist. After my hormones starting shifting in perimenopause, I slowly noticed a shift happening. I was getting thicker in my middle. It’s like my whole core region- from front to back, became the Storage Facility for fat. Home base. And what made it all more frustrating is that I never gained weight in a obvious manner where I had fat rolls around my middle. It was more like the paper towel analogy you may have heard– I just got thicker vs. having big areas of fat ROLLS. Does it matter? Not sure. Either way, my body makeup changed and the way I lost weight changed. 

    As we age, the way we gain weight changes.

    In addition to where I stored fat, the way I gained fat changed. It used to be that when I was younger, I would gain weight all in one area, very noticeable to me, and then it was like a red alert to go diet. Now that I’m older – my body spreads the fat out all over. I don’t just gain in my thighs or my butt or my tummy — it’s everywhere. So in some cases, this might be viewed as a benefit– I don’t get a big huge tummy with rolls of fat. I don’t look like Santa Claus. I get curvier and just slightly bigger everywhere. The truth is even at my heaviest weights over the past 10 years, most people don’t see me as someone who needs to lose weight. That can be a blessing or a curse, I view it as a curse. 
    Why? Because the weight creeping on is insidious. It’s easy when one is in an “on the bench” season (I’ve had several over the past few years- one when I had adrenal burnout and was following the wrong advice of a dietitian for 7 months, the other was most recently – the end of 2019-January 2020 when I was having chronic headaches and migraines for 7+ months and couldn’t work out hardly at all) to not notice you are gaining fat when you don’t SEE it in the typical areas. When you are in a slump or on the bench you are typically not wearing your workout clothes daily- so you won’t know how tight they’ve become. I could go on an on about this but you get the point. As we get older, and before we become intentionally focused and always in tune with our bodies to keep them fit and healthy– we can be gaining fat and not necessarily realizing it until we hit a HOLY HECK WHAT HAPPENED moment. 

    Why Being Reminded Daily of Where You Are Is the Best Motivator For Weight Loss.

    This is my opinion. This whole post, well this whole blog is my opinion. I’m NOT writing this blog to say I am 100% right or that my way is the only way. I’m sharing what I’m doing and why it’s HELPING ME. You might totally disagree and I respect that. But I want to be clear before I give the details on why I’m using the waist trainer. 
    In my opinion, part of why any of us- men or women- get in a slump is that we’ve gotten out of touch with the state of our bodies. Bear with me. If you are the average American working 60 hours a week- and you haven’t been really working out or focused on weight loss or fitness– OR if you have fallen off the wagon for a while– you tend to dress in comfortable clothes. You naturally avoid wearing things that are too tight. You stay where you are comfortable and avoid confronting what troubles you. Think about it- how many times do average people stand naked in the mirror? Not much. 
    When I recently “came off the bench” in mid-February- finally able to work out again after being benched for 7+ months, I had to take it slow with my workouts to break back into it. I was self-aware enough to know- girl, you’ve been unable to work out for this long you are not going to be as strong, as cardio capable, and you’ve gained some fat and lost muscle-– accept that. I did. I was not hard on myself. 
    Well, as I progressed and leveled up a LITTLE BIT each week, I found myself getting into a groove. And with each week I added back in a lot of things I hadn’t been able to do in a while. It was like being reunited with an old friend, again and again. One of those things recently was cardio. I’d been avoiding cardio – a lot- for years- based on listening to stupid myths about “cardio is bad” and listening to some bad advice that cardio is bad for adrenal fatigue etc. I’m currently doing a workout program that I LOVE that focuses on heavy LIFTing 4x a week and then I do whatever cardio I want the other days. Then I started adding 20-30 minutes of HIIT training prior to my LIFT sessions since the LIFT sessions are typically only 35 minutes max. All this cardio was like a GIFT to me. You see, I LOVE a sweaty cardio session. I had missed it!! And so as I had a sweaty cardio sesh one day I remembered how I used to use this product Sweet Sweat– I think Valerie Waters told me about it. You apply this stuff to your skin around your core- and I add it to my arms and chest- and you sweat like a monster beast!! I LOVE IT!! So I ordered some. And they were out of stock on the waist wrap trainer that is ideal to use with it, so Ms. Impatient Me ordered one from a different brand. Here’s the deal- I know from experience when you apply the SS on your core and use their waist trainer belt, you sweat- and it’s pretty awesome when you take the belt off you can SEE a rainforest of sweat on the inside. The different brand belt I bought linked above – it more absorbs the sweat so you don’t see it as much. I didn’t care for that so I went back and ordered the Sweet Sweat waist trainer that I’ve used previously. It’s supposed to arrive later this week. 

    Why do I love using Sweet Sweat and the Waist Trainer for workouts?

    Ok so here is why I love this situation. First- as I mentioned above, it’s a personal preference for me that I LOVE to break a massive sweat during a workout. That’s the first reason I love the Sweet Sweat situation. Secondly, when you add their waist trainer or use theirs and/or another brand, here’s what happens that takes my fitness/diet/fat loss game up a notch. When you slather your core with the Sweet Sweat every day- you are acutely aware of the extra fat on your core. It’s a visceral reminder daily of “girl, you can get rid of this stuff”— it’s a reminder to your brain as you rub on the Sweet Sweat. It’s when we wear baggy clothes and avoid seeing our bodies that it’s easier to stay on the bench. That’s my opinion. 
    Why else do we freak out when it’s spring break time? Because we know we can’t hide! 
    Anyway- then you add a waist trainer- to whatever degree you put a waist thing with any level of tightness around your core- if you have fat around your core– you’ll be aware. The waist trainer will only zip or velcro or buckle up so far. And– it’s a bit unpleasant at first but you’ll probably see some fat at the top of your waist trainer and/or below it. For me, this is a visual and physical PUSH for me daily- it’s accountability to the max —I’m telling you people — whenever I’ve been off my game it’s because for whatever reason– either I’m not weighing and measuring myself or not working out- or maybe I’ve been sick- whatever the reason- if you are not physically in tune and confronting your body as it is now– it’s easy to take it easy. Ever since I took things up a notch and added the Sweet Sweat and the waist trainer situation back in — I am working out harder, I want that waist trainer belt to be able to be tighter and have the fat above it NOT THERE ANYMORE. I also love how that tight feeling around my core – well it helps my back when I train. The belt on makes me feel how I want my core to be naturally- tight and hard and strong. It’s daily motivation. 
    So this is why I love and swear by this combo. It’s not because I think I will cinch my waist and make it transform to Scarlett O’Hara size. Not at all. For me it’s a spotlight on my target zone. It’s a spotlight on my goals. It enhances my workouts and I am OBSESSED AND ON FIRE because of it. 
    So- what do you think? Remember, I’m not here to tell you what to do but to share why this is helping me in a big way. If you want to go for it GET YOURSELF SOME SWEET SWEAT and a waist trainer baby!! PS- I also had no idea until I ordered this stuff that Sports Research the company that makes SS also makes a ton of quality supplements– I ordered this collagen– it’s like 1/3 of the price of the Vital Proteins stuff I was ordering previously and it’s amazing. Check out all the great reviews on Amazon! FYI.


    Note: this blog contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this post and support this channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when a viewer uses the links provided, the view is in NO WAY obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support.

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