Personal Blog

  • Personal Blog

    How to get INSANELY beautiful skin at any age.

    Great skin requires a solid skincare routine.

    Ladies, how many of you love your skin? How many of you wonder how to get better skin? How many of you wonder what anti-aging products are the BEST and actually WORK? How many of you are interested in how to get great looking skin after the age of 40 or 50 or 60? How many of you have experienced your skin and face showing the signs of aging after having kids or experiencing hormonal imbalance- or both? 

    I hear you.

    I haven’t had kids, but I’ve had massive hormonal imbalance issues for YEARS– and about a year and a half ago, I noticed my face wasn’t making me happy when I looked in the mirror. 

    The truth is, for most of my adult life, even though I’ve baked in the sun for hours on end and gone to tanning beds and not worn SPF….I’ve never felt gross about my skin. I’ve never had that thing happen that people warned me about- “Oh if you keep going out in the sun you’ll look like you’re 70 when you are 30…”. 

    NEWSFLASH: I’m 50 now and look better than I ever have- and I have never been mistaken for looking OLDER but rather for looking younger than my age. 

    Still. After 2 of the most stressful years of my life and after some weight gain and weight loss- my face looked WORN and my skin looks bland. Dull. Not happy. 

    Sometimes aging hits you like a ton of bricks. In the face. At close range.

    It was not a happy time when I first started realizing I was seeing AGING. I’d noticed some laxity in my facial skin for several years- in my YouTube videos- and had always planned to get “some work done” but I’d always felt good about myself even with no makeup (half of my YouTube videos in the past were sans makeup after a workout) and never felt like I looked OLD. 

    Then there came those days when I suddenly saw myself in the mirror and I just thought I looked pale and drawn and my skin looked dull and lifeless. Seriously. It reminded me of how my man describes the weather in Chicago; BLEAK.

    SO- even though I had been using some skincare products for years (Arbonne) I decided to level up and get Botox. I made my appointment and – oh boy did I feel revived after getting Botox. Seriously. Injectables and me are now BFFs. But this is when I learned about GLOWBIOTICS- medical grade skincare. I bought a package of several of their best selling products and have been hooked ever since. The truth is I saw my skin improve so much after using it day and night that I stalked them online and got a meeting with the marketing team because I wanted to help them spread the word. And I did and the team at GLOWBIOTICS is an awesome one. Their probiotic-based skincare line is to-die-for! It’s a big part of why I feel so amazing about how I look at age 50!! I’m looking forward to 60 and 70 and beyond! For real. 

    Great skin takes time and effort and money but it's so WORTH IT.

    So- here are my tips based on my experience for how to get great skin at any age.

    • First of all, recognize this does require some time. You gotta wash your face- wash your makeup off at night. So many women don’t do this and OY TO THE VEY come on!! Invest in 5-10 minutes each morning and night for your skincare routine. You’ll notice the results.

    Invest in a Clarisonic device. Seriously. This is exfoliation at its best. Go to YouTube and watch every beauty vlogger recommend it too. JUST BUY it and use it to wash your face and neck and chest every night: CLICK HERE to buy on Amazon.com. 

    • Get an “anti-aging pillowcase”. If you would have asked me years ago if I’d fall for this concept I would have laughed but– after I started getting waxed and got my FACE – full face waxed and ended up with breakouts on my chin/neck- my wax lady explained that because I did not listen to her and change my pillowcase, my open pores that day that slept on a not-clean pillowcase got clogged with dirt and bacteria. GULP. I then began looking up anti-aging/healthy skin pillowcases. Get you some. CLICK HERE to buy. 
    • DUH. Stock up on the best skincare on the planet- At GLOWBIOTICS.COM.  Use code KELLY20 to get 20% off all regularly priced items at their website. 
    • Get enough sleep. If you aren’t sleeping well or long enough (8 hours) – you will look haggard and nasty. Get sleep. I love my Sleep Number bed and my man and I thrive and sleep well with that plus COMPHY sheets and room darkening curtains. 
    • Don’t eat crap. What you eat affects your skin.
    • De-stress. Invest in self-care in a big way. Stress will destroy your health and make you look 25 years older. Anti-age from within by de-stressing. 
    • Don’t SMOKE. If you are a smoker I don’t know what to tell you other than you are dumb AF. Stop it. 
    • Watch alcohol intake. 
    • Hydrate hydrate hydrate. 

    You can start improving your skin and your looks at ANY AGE.

    I want to reiterate the notion that you can start getting great skin at any age. I didn’t start til age 37 with any skincare and didn’t get Botox until age 48! I personally feel that the non-invasive cosmetic procedures out there today combined with amazing medical grade skincare like GLOWBIOTICS plus= applying all that we know about health and wellness and stress etc. and- great contouring (YASSS QUEENS) it’s a fabulous time to be a woman– why fear aging? Embrace it by diving into all the options. Why the heck wouldn’t you?

    My review of my favorite GLOWBIOTICS products for amazing skin.

    Some of my favorite products by GLOWBIOTICS-- get you some!!

    As mentioned in my review — these are my favorite products that I use regularly by GLOWBIOTICS:

    Ladies, use my code: KELLY20 to get 20% off at GLOWBIOTICS.COM. I promise, you will be obsessed!!

    What questions do you have about anti-aging, or skincare specifically? Let me know in the comments below and be sure you are subscribed– I’ve got lots more surprises coming up soon- I’M BACK!! 😉 

     

    Disclosure: This post contains several affiliate links. I also am a part of the GLOWBIOTICS Skinfluencer program and am provided products in exchange for my transparent reviews and recommendations online. I originally started off as a customer of theirs and now am a partner because I love their products so much. 

  • Personal Blog

    Why you have to start being more SELFISH.

    Why women need to start being more selfish.

    When you bring up the word “selfish” to a woman, she’s typically going to cringe. It’s a word we often think of strictly in the negative sense, and it’s time to re-evaluate that whole situation. Yes, I meant to type that. Ladies, it’s time to stop thinking that being SELFISH is a bad thing.

    I’ve learned a whole lot of life lessons in the past several years, many of which you’ll hear about here on my newly re-launched blog (be sure you are subscribed– do so over at the sidebar right now y’all!) – and one of them is that women, myself included, can often be such people pleasers by nature, they will put everyone else’s needs before their own, all the time. While this sounds nice and potentially noble, don’t kid yourself. It’s not. It’s more like a recipe for disaster. And burnout. And adrenal fatigue, among other things. 

     

    Being unselfish is a recipe for disaster.

    What do I mean really, when I say that being unselfish is a recipe for DISASTER? Seriously. Well, if you are, like I have been for most of my adult life, a people pleaser who thrives by taking care of EVERYONE else around you- your significant other, your family, your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers or employees, if you don’t pay attention, you may not notice that YOUR life is suffering. YOUR productivity at work is on the decline because you are carrying everyone else’s burdens. Your emotional state of mind can be one of sheer turmoil and exhaustion because you are shouldering the burden of trying to solve everyone else’s problems. (Have you done this? Someone you know loses a job and you feel it’s YOUR job to help them find a new one. It’s YOUR problem they can’t pay their bills. It’s YOU who should lend them money and YOU who should network for them to get a new job…..yea, I’ve been there!!) When you are relentlessly unselfish all the time, you say YES to every request- from co-workers or your boss, or your employees even! You say yes to every social request, even the ones you don’t want to to attend, because God forbid you say NO. What does this do? It leaves you with a schedule that is impossible to maintain, yet you keep trying. When you are insanely unselfish at home, you run around the second you get home taking care of everyone else’s needs- cleaning the house, doing the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning up the kitchen etc. — and you don’t pay attention to the fact that you are EXHAUSTED. 

    And then you look around and wonder why you don’t have the energy to work out. And you wonder even if you DID have the energy, when would you find the TIME? Yea– read above- remember– your schedule is impossibly full. So you have no time. 

    This is a road to nowhere. Because it never ends. The people you think you are helping or serving will not typically appreciate it, but they will come to EXPECT IT. And so their dependency on you will never stop. Their demands will only increase because you’ve set the tone for your relationship — you have become the GO-TO-GIRL. For everything.

    Why you need a LIFE wake-up call.

    Ladies, I’ve had quite a lot of LIFE wake-up calls in the past couple of years- and I’m so grateful for them. I’m convinced that too many of us are walking around on auto-pilot every day, not considering if where we are- with our work, with our body, with our health, with our relationships, is where we want to be. We just keep trudging through the days hoping to “get by” or thinking that things will inevitably get better if we keep working hard, working long, being caring and giving and unselfish etc. It doesn’t work that way. If our lives are to change for the better, it’s up to US to change them. And we can’t change them if we aren’t paying attention. We really REALLY need to start paying attention to ourselves. 

    It’s when we start paying attention to ourselves, and making that a .habit, that we can improve the overall quality of our LIFE. And when we do that, TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS– IT’S NOT JUST AN OPRAH-SHOW CLICHE– when you are happier and more fulfilled and healthy and loving life, you WILL do more for the others in your life. 

    You’ll perform better at the office. You’ll be a better wife/girlfriend/mom/best friend/co-worker. 

    I shot an impromptu video on this topic the end of last week– watch below and let me know if this resonates with you. 

    Ladies, are you feeling this? Is this you? It was me for years. I have ignored my goals and my health issues and my visions for too long. Now, I’m learning, my life and my health will only change and improve to the degree that I invest time and focus and activity on them. HELLO!! It’s time to look inward and focus on US, so we can be better inevitably for those around us. Do you agree? Let me know in the comments what questions you have and if this struck a chord with you. I’ll see you soon. The first half of this year was a lot of prep work for what I’m finally going live with the second half of this year so make sure you are subscribed!! 😉 

  • Fitness, Personal Blog

    The 5 Biggest Fitness Mistakes I’ve Made, and How I’ve Fixed Them For the Better.

    What NOT to do if you want to get fit.

    I have been blogging and vlogging and talking about my fitness journey online since 2007. And in the past 12 years, I’ve learned a lot. 

    I’ve learned a lot about what NOT to do that’s for sure. 

    The truth is, what has become very clear to me recently is that– my massive insecurity about my looks and my body, combined with my incredibly impatient nature, drove me to push way too hard in all areas, with the desire to get fit FASTER. 

    News Flash: that never happened. What did happen was that I became run down, my workouts suffered, I lost my energy and often my motivation, my inner self-talk went from negative to destructive and my eating practices became obsessive. 

    It took me doing a lot of introspection to figure this stuff out and I encourage all of you if you can, to get a therapist you can talk to to figure out your inner BAGGAGE that is likely holding you down. If you aren’t ready for that step, start with some personal development/self-help books– they’ve done wonders for me. (HINT: I’ll be sharing a post next week with some of my favorites for you)– and if you are that person who hears the words “personal development” or “self-help” and rolls your eyes with skepticism (I did back in the day)– guess what? You probably need it far more than you think.

    Whatever you are most resistant to is likely what you need to pay attention to most in your life. 

    Example: Are you always worried about money? Freaking out about paying your bills or wondering how you can earn more? You have money issues you need to get to the bottom of– quite often we have these hangups inside of us that affect our behaviors– until you identify them and recognize them when they appear, you can’t change them. 

    So, when I was finally able to be real with myself, that’s when I could identify all my bad behavioral patterns or thought processes that were becoming huge obstacles for me in my fitness journey. Because what I realized was this: for all my years of working out and dieting– I never once reached my ultimate goal. Never ONCE. I’ve made progress then backslid, then made progress then backslid. It has been a PATTERN of two steps forward then 2 and a half back etc. I’ve LINGERED in the land of “almost there” for so long it’s just sad. 

    But I am the obstacle. It’s MY behaviors and MY habits that I’ve allowed to remain– I’m still working on figuring out why– why have I self-sabotaged, why have I held myself back? Why do I give 80% and not 100%? Why do I make exceptions? This is the hard part, ladies, the inner work. But it’s the work that matters the most– because I guarantee you this- we ALL KNOW the foundational principles of getting fit. We all know what food is the best choice and what is bad for us. We all know we should work out vs. watching TV or sleeping in every morning. We all KNOW what we SHOULD do to get fit. So the things that propel us toward making bad decisions- that’s the meaty stuff we have to figure out on our own. You can read all the diet books and troll as many fitfam instagram accounts as you want – if you don’t get YOUR MIND right, it won’t matter.

    Bam.

    So– as promised then, let me share with you what my biggest MISTAKES have been– the things I’ve cut out of my life now. Then I’ll share what I’ve added IN to my fitness life – and I’ll share how it’s making a difference. 

     

     

    My Top 5 Biggest Fitness Mistakes.

    1. Setting Unrealistic Expectations: I cannot tell you how many times I would start some DIET or “challenge” program that promised crazy weight loss in x weeks– and even if that was already unrealistic I would make the diet and workouts even more extreme to hurry the process UP! Signing up for any challenge that promises you and anyone else in the world the same results in one or two months– is not realistic in any way. Once you are past the age of 30- you have hormonal issues and stress issues to consider– and each of our unique DNA history will have an effect on our inevitable outcome.
    2. Working toward completely unrealistic goals: Ladies. I am as curvy as a Kardashian. (Well maybe not as butt-tastic as they are but this girl has boobs and butt and always has) and all of my life I have aimed to look like Jennifer Garner in Alias. That is NEVER going to happen. We have completely different body types and yet, I have measured my success by comparing myself to her physique. 
    3. Thinking that MORE is better. I am so impatient. I want overnight results. And as such, I would take every diet I attempted to participate in and ENHANCE IT. By doing MORE: more restricting, more working out, more of every extreme measure I could. HINT: It never worked. 
    4. Beating myself up. I cannot tell you how much of my adult life has been spent beating myself up emotionally. I mean, picking myself apart for my looks from head to toe. The conversations going on in my head – if you heard how I talked to myself you would be MORTIFIED. I realize now how damaging this has been and it’s a work in progress to fix.
    5. Aiming for perfection or nothing. I obsessed over every detail for years. I thought I had to be so rigid and compliant with whatever program or diet or challenge I was on that if I slipped with 10 calories, I’d end up bingeing and starting over. To me it was all or nothing. If you messed up one day, the whole week was ruined. STUPID.
    Ladies, these are the biggest mistakes I’ve made and the areas I’ve made the most significant change in recently. And the changes are making a difference in every way. You may also want to read this post I published on FitFluential for more tips; CLICK HERE.

     

    The 5 Best Changes I've Made In My Fitness Journey That Are Paying OFF For the Better.

    So, what have I done to be “out with the old and in with the new”? Well, the truth is, I absolutely DO focus on that– call it the George Costanza Opposite Approach (if you don’t get my Seinfeld reference shame on you). In other words, I recognize that what I practiced in the past, did NOT work, so it makes sense for me to do the opposite or close to it. Read on for my top 5 new best practices:

    1. I accept myself as I am. I no longer am striving to look like Jennifer Garner or Ashley Horner, but to become the best, strongest, leanest, healthiest version of ME that I can. 
    2. I cut out the negative self-talk and replace it with self-respect and self-love and ENCOURAGEMENT. I absolutely still catch myself when I see a glimpse of my bad areas- I catch myself slipping into self-loathing but I am now able to stop it for I KNOW HOW DAMAGING IT IS. I move right into telling myself how far I’ve come and how “You’ve so got this Olexa!!” I really do. It works.
    3. I stopped the obsessing. I no longer obsess about mistakes. I don’t freak out if I hit 120g of carbs on a day that my goal might be 90g of carbs. I don’t FREAK out that the day I had to skip my workout because I was sick is going to ruin everything. I CHILL OUT and am learning to enjoy the process.
    4. My goals are LONG-TERM without deadlines. I’ll get there when I get there.
    5. I am LIVING MY LIFE along the way. Before, I thought I could not go to the gym until I was at 20% body fat. I could not go on vacation until I was perfect. I didn’t want to buy a size 10 jeans. I only wanted to wear size 6 so I would never go out until I was perfect. I’ve learned to LIVE my life and buy awesome clothes for my amazing healthy body RIGHT NOW and keep working toward a better version of me every day. But life is for the living!!

    Ladies, these changes above have made a huge difference. In my upcoming posts, you will read more detail on each point– from the mistakes list to the great additions list. Be sure you are subscribed so you don’t miss out. 

    What points hit home for you- the good ones or the bad ones? Let me know in the comments what you struggle with the most. 

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